Relationship

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Relationship

Bob & Karen Deeds • Apr 16, 2020

Knowledge is power...

The traditional notions of ‘alpha’ and how to establish that position is largely misinformed. However, the idea of relative hierarchies within the family unit is not a myth. A pack is simply a social structure within which some animals live. One of the other misrepresented notions is that your family, now containing a dog, has become a pack. Your dog is not a pack animal. A wolf is a pack animal. You very rarely will see a lone wolf. They live and THRIVE within a multi-WOLF structure that by its very existence, lends itself to success for that species. Dogs are not wolves. That’s why many dogs can live happily within a one dog household.

Humans are also social animals who live within various social structures. The concept that there is only one ‘alpha’ within any social structure is simply inaccurate. Blending the social structures between human and dog does not require physical means. In fact, humans are simply not physically or emotionally equipped to imitate dogs’ specific interactions. We cannot physically ‘correct’ a pup like an adult dog would… with precision and with the same emotion. Because of our emotions, over and under corrections and lack of physical expertise, our communication is less effective, and we often confuse the dog and reduce, rather than elevate, the dog’s confidence in our abilities and their trust in our judgment.

A relationship should be based on good communication and cooperation. Relationship does not utilize force, violence, or aggression. There are various activities throughout the day that we can utilize to create a pleasant, positive relationship with our dogs. We have things that our dog needs and wants. Food, toys, attention, coming indoors, going outdoors, resting places, and safety are all valuable commodities that your dog can earn reinforcement for. First, there needs to be something that your dog can offer to you as a form of ‘payment’ for the desired commodity. Calmness, whether it be simply standing still or sitting can easily be utilized as their currency. The ability to reward your dog by delivering a specific commodity in response to a polite request creates a partnership that helps the dog understand what is expected out of it. This will help reduce stress as well as increases confidence in the dog by empowering the dog to control its own environment. Dogs that struggle with anxiety thrive on predictability and structure. Teaching a dog to offer calm behavior instead of constantly telling the dog what to do, can impower your dog. Remember, Sir Francis Bacon said the famous Latin phrase, that every grade school teacher paraphrased, “Ipsa scientia potestas est”…Knowledge itself is Power”.

Children in the family should be included in the training of the dog so that the dog learns that even they can reward good behavior! What better way to include your dog into your family? (What better way for children to learn how to teach and to interact appropriately with a dog?)

Rewarding a sit with a session of petting, permission to jump on the bed or the sofa, or even entering or exiting a doorway are great opportunities to not only reduce the chaos and conflict that often accompanies those situations, but also to build a relationship of cooperation and understanding. We actually teach our dogs to ‘Ask Permission’, by offering a sit or down without a cue to let us know they’d like permission to leave the crate.

Food, toys, and interactive play time like tug of war are also great opportunities to create a history of reinforcement and rewarding good, controlled behavior. Using these resources as reinforcement means that they need to have value. If these resources (food, toys, attention, and freedom to come and go) are available to them without the need to acquire them, they have little reinforcement potential. Put your dog’s feeding times on a schedule – do not allow free feeding. Provide interactive play toys only when you initiate the play. Having ‘alone’ toys such as stuffed bones, Nylabones, stuffed Kongs, antlers, or other toys that your dog can use for self-entertainment can be available without your intervention. Free access through a dogie door reduces the opportunity to reinforce them for asking to go in or out. Ensure that your dog does not guard your seating or sleeping areas and looks for your permission to join you if you so desire. Teach your dog to check in with you when going for a walk. The reward for checking in with you may be something as simple as getting to sniff the fire hydrant ahead! Also, teaching your dog to settle and leave you alone, is also a good thing. Your dog can gain more ‘hang out’ time with the family, when they’ve learned to chill and quietly chew a bone, while the kids do their homework or the family watches TV.

Remember that your relationship with your dog should be based on cooperation for the benefit of each other. There are certainly rules and boundaries. Our dogs are happier when those rules and boundaries are clear and when the dog has good, alternative behaviors…What to do is often easier to understand, and accomplish, than what not to do.

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